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REVIEW: Charlie St. Cloud is asleeper.
8/7/10
If I had to identify one of my main faults in life other than generally being an asshole, I think I'd have to peg the fact that I'm one of those hopeless romantic types. I've got no problem sitting through a D-grade Topher Grace romantic comedy or Keanu Reaves romantic drama and enjoying it on some of the same levels that, say, a 12-year-old girl might. Fuck you, I'll do what I want.
I saw this shit TWICE in theaters.
When my girlfriend expressed interest in checking out Charlie St. Cloud, I didn't put up a fight. I might wish to kill whoever was responsible for the existance of High School Musical as a FUCKING FRANCHISE, but 17 Again wasn't terrible. It was actually pleasantly surprising, though I definitely credit that to Lt. Jim Dangle's pressence. He can make anything rock. Now I knew he wasn't gonna be popping up in Charlie St. Cloud (referred to further as CSC), but it was still the same director, same actor, and my guilty pleasure genre, so hey, what could go wrong?
Mrs. St. Cloud. Too bad they didn't say Charlie's dad was Batman.
So it begins: Charlie has a brother Sam. Charlie's about to graduate. His mom is Vicki Vale. He wants to go to a party being thrown by James Franco's younger brother, his mom asks him to babysit. What does Sam do when he catches Charlie trying to sneak out? Hitches a ride with him...
WHAM!
Car accident = Sam's last ride... and I start to drift to sleep. Oh boy, it's gonna be a long night.
Ray Liotta pops up as a paramedic to save Charlie. Always good to see one of the faces of Goodfellas pop up for a paycheck. Too bad that check didn't pay enough for him to put in enough OT to keep Sam alive. Years later, Charlie hangs out by his brother's grave all day and spends all night playing ball with Sam's ghost, and subsequently taking nut shots... and I nod off again...
GoodFellas is the complete opposite of CSC, as if that needed to be stated.
Some girl that Charlie used to competetive sail with stops by one of his day visits at the graveyard with a nice gash in her skull. Okay, not that awesome looking, but if I don't try and spice up the details from memory I might doze again writing this. Sam tells Charlie he should make her pizza if he wants to get some, or something to that effect. My eyes don't want to stay open...
WHAM!
I managed to HEADBUTT my girlfriend while I was drifting off. Whoops... At least I'm up again.
The girl Tess is about to head off on some big boating thing, cuz she didn't kill her brother n'all. Her & Charlie are gonna hook up, but they don't. Sam gets mad at Charlie for chasing poon. I still can't keep my fuckin' eyes open. Yay 5am wake ups. There's something about Tess with the head wound again and Charlie realizing she's a ghost or on her way to being a ghost or something, and he has to get back to sailing to save her? I think that was the point.
Wanna keep making money? Stick to Disney Channel.
So there we have it. My review of Charlie St. Cloud? It was good nap fodder. Many others must agree, as Friday-to-Friday numbers from it's 1st-to-2nd weekend show good ol' CSC took a 69% drop. Giggity! -Tommy Dizzle
Allllright!
Other Recent Updates
VIDEO: Tom Turkizzlemits's Thanksgiving Announcement! (added 11/25)
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